Pirates of the Caribbean:On Stranger Tides

As hinted during the finale of At World's End, the journey this time will be about The Fountain of Youth. When mermaids are shown hopping at Walt Disney Pictures' cinematic logo, you know there will be an ordeal with them at some point of the film.

It doesn't take long for us to realize that Verbinski's tone and setting for the original franchise he's created, are off from what we are getting onscreen. For example, he never uses texts to tell us a particular location. If it's Spain, why not let the characters speak Spanish to let us know the fact?

It is on record that On Stranger Tides has the most expensive budget ever for a motion picture. While the settings like valleys, ceiling paintings, beaches, Ponce de León and The Fountain of Youth are mightily created, we can't really see why and what the money has been spent on. First of all, the makeup is atrocious. For God's sake, why does Captain Hector Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush), one of the most beloved characters from this universe, look like an ugly hernia?! Why is the skin ruptured like that? What's with the yellow coat teeth?

On Stranger Tides follow a standard beat of writing for a treasure hunting adventure. Captain Blackbeard, a sorcerer pirate who invades other ships and whelms his own Queen Anne's Revenge, wants to find The Fountain of Youth so that he could save himself from dying. Knowledge about the navigational chart is rumored to be with Captain Jack Sparrow, as we know it is from the preceding feature. The latter is forced through a voodoo doll to lead them towards the profane place. Barbossa is hunting Blackbeard from another line to claim his revenge towards the lost Black Pearl. He even destroys the Royal Navy's sail and crew, in confidence that he would gain Queen Anne's Revenge at the end. The Spanish, well, they just want to destroy The Fountain of Youth so that nothing surpasses their religious faith, which doesn't play well along the plot and turns out to be silly.

Not to be mistaken, the writing isn't absolutely bad. But, it's tiresome and excessive! Most of the sequences are stretched too long and repetitive, like the initial escape plan forged by Sparrow, to jump or not to jump the cliff, dilly-dallying about the truth regarding father-daughter relationship or the ritual proceeding and items. Why can't all these excess fat be trimmed? Angelica (Penélope Cruz) is the worst uninteresting character one could think of for this series. Does she want to save herself or her father? What is her motivation, damn it?

Humor mostly misses the mark. Dialogues and events are expositional, expositional and expositional. Spaniards out of mist when needed to, mermaid saving the chalices and Captain Teague (Keith Richards) appearing just to supply information are obvious conveniences! Some actions by the characters are unwarranted for, such as the shipman jumping off HMS into waters. The imposter and priest's attraction on the captured mermaid subplots while may seem to have reasons to stay, are simply mundane. The pacing is okay in the beginning though.

Other good parts to note are ships in a bottle with the pirate monkey too, Aqua de Vida opening up a water channel, sudden appearance of mermaid at Whitecap Bay, water droplet traveling upwards plus Richard Griffiths' performance and getup as King George II. On the technical side, lighting is poor. It's a bad idea to keep on repeating the theme music for every swashbuckling sequences! Where's the exclusivity in that? Designs for the mythical mermaids are well done, but the computer graphics part is at best, okay. Background audio storytelling for what happened to The Black Pearl is awesome though.

Let's talk about the biggest positive in the film, for which without, we wouldn't have been able to sit through a 2-hour bloated fiesta. You got it right - our favorite highwaymen and pillager, Captain Jack Sparrow, an iconic role only Johnny Depp could play! The character and actor both have aged. Even though most of the jokes aren't working as well it should, his antics and mannerisms are still amazing. He eyes his surroundings to hatch an escapade. He climbs along the tree to slip off enemy's hands. Whatever he does is random, but with a goal. His interactions with Barbossa, like the scene where they sit beside a corpse are nice to watch out for. With him stealing the lots of ships in bottles and Barbossa returning to piracy once again, we'll see what Dead Men Tell No Tales has to offer.