The Mummy

Universal Studio's Dark Universe has given birth to its first outing or monster, The Mummy. And it very well could be one of the most boring, tiring, unimaginative, flat and dry dullsville to be ever put on silver screens!

There are three hyperlinking reasons as to why the motion picture has turned out to be like this. Firstly, the characters, if you can even call the roles in this film so. Zero character building from start to finish! We know nothing about them and end up not caring about any of them all! Jenny, played by Annabelle Wallis is a classic example. She carries out a one-dimensional, history-spilling, expositions-revealing ally through vlogs as an excuse or direct confrontations whom we don't bother to listen to, let alone watch! Jake Johnson who attempts to crack jokes and be funny, annoys and fails as Vail! The least the screenwriters could do is to construct a proper protagonist. Okay, Tom Cruise is the charismatic lead here, as how he is in most movies he stars. But, Tom Cruise is pretty much portraying Tom Cruise here. Where is Nick Morton? What do we know about Nick Morton? Who is he? Why should we be concerned about him? What's the worth to follow this hero around for 2 hours of runtime? Jocose mannerisms alone don't form a character. Since the characters are this atrocious, we feel no emotional connections exist within the circle of individuals, neither between Nick and Jenny nor Nick and Vail.

Secondly, the writing. The Mummy is a script filled with full-blown antiquity expositions! It tries so hard to ram facts, fictions and all sorts of grandfather's stories regarding circumstances being dealt into your brain! Even texts for venues have to be constantly and explicitly labelled, as audiences are believed to be dumb enough to not know where a story is taking place after a while! Come on, give the spectators a break for God's sake! If we've wanted a history lesson, we wouldn't have bought a movie ticket for it! To be fair, yes there is a plot. A standard, beaten-to-death, unoriginal, rehashed, predictable, clichéd and formulaic storyline that doesn't excite one bone inside you! Antagonist desires to destroy entire humanity out of nowhere, because why not? Of course there's a MacGuffin - a dagger and stone to go after, or else how stories like this would function? It's 2017, and screenwriters still think that jump scares are the most effective ways to scare audiences, because who gives a damn about right horror narration and elements, right?

There is but one facet that's interesting a tad - Russell Crowe's Dr. Jekyll. His research, Prodigium, and the way he controls Mr. Hyde from coming out are coated with mystery and sophistication. But, even the purpose to this is only partially fleshed out and realized. We are yet to see more of him in future instalments of this universe though, if the pictures do get made after this particular abomination of first entry. A tint of anxiety is present concerning the curse upon Nick, on why and what is it. While the mummy army awakening, spider bug entering earhole before eyeballs roll backwards and Nick stabbing himself to transform into Set, the God of Death are passable moments, the way he wakes Annabelle up from dying, sees Vail's ghost randomly at moments and moves about locations under the pretense of being possessed are non-defendable nonsenses. Jekyll's troop of soldiers appearing out of the blue is a convenience too.

How's the humor, one might ask? Terrible, one must reply. None of it ticks! Not only that, the comedic nature brought in stands out like a sore thumb for the tone of this feature. With these being said, Nick's assumption of having 2 parachute bags and shooting Vali for the third time out of reflex are hilarious! Since the writing and characters are hopeless, how do you think the associated action sequences turned out? Bland. Tedious. Drab. Mundane. Dreary. Yawny. You name it. No excitement triggered. No tension induced. No suspense built. All of the action segments take place for the sake of it. For instance, there are no reasons to lock Nick behind with Mr. Hyde, but it is coerced that way to make sure the production company have a bankable action scene in store. Mummies in subway underground during the climax is a similar case. However, Nick timely fitting a bus's front window after speeding across a hallway of flying glass debris with Jenny, rats attack, zero gravity struggle inside plane, Nick's hand stuck through a skull, swarm of crows and free falling aircraft are watchable. Also, it's appreciable that the supernatural villain always has the upper-hand on the protagonist.

Admittedly, the computer graphics, make-up, practical effects and overall production design are really good! Sand squall before flight takeoff, Sphinx, pyramids, Anubis, hieroglyphs on body, glass bits hurricane in the image of a mummy, double retinas, mummy's coffin, horses riding away from sandstorm, tomb face statue, oblivion-like hollow hole, spiders and Ahmanet's sucked-out carcass thrown to the camera are sure attention pullers. The craftsmanship behind creating the mummies itself, be it the ones swimming underwater, Egyptian or European, is praiseworthy. Ben Seresin's cinematography is decent for the most parts, except for a few moments where the sunlight torches right into your eyes and hurts it. Color and tone for the film are nice too.